mental health · relationships · Wellness

From the Heart: Success is a Choice

Howdy, friends!

I’m currently sitting on my patio, enjoying the refreshing breeze and winding down from a long day….and a rather long weekend, as strange as that is to say.


Today I am going to be a bit vulnerable and share something from the heart with you all. We did a lot of learning this weekend at the Benitez household, and while it might not have been fun in the moment, I’m so thankful that we were able to grow from our experience.

Friday marked two weeks since closing on our new home, and to give ourselves some credit, we’ve made a lot happen in two weeks! We went into the weekend with big plans for getting more done, and while we did accomplish our goals, we learned (or relearned) an important lesson along the way, best put by Alex Noble:

“Success is a process, a quality of mind and way of being, an outgoing affirmation of life.”

Our goals this weekend included purchasing a lawn mower, mowing our yard, pulling weeds from our front planter, and cleaning up our mudroom and patio a bit from much of the mud tracked in, on, and around the house by our furbabes.

Backtrack to Thursday evening, one of our commodes began leaking dirty water. The positive side to this incident was that I hated the commode and intended on replacing it eventually. The downside to this incident is that our weekend was already chock full with the aforementioned plans. There was no wiggle room in our schedules or our budget to deal with this problem over the weekend. We removed the toilet, covered the plumbing opening, and started the weekend with less than stellar attitudes.

Friday was extremely stormy. There are some patches along our backyard that have sparse to no grass coverage, so you can imagine precipitation brings lots of mud to these patches. Piper and Rooney are not known to let a little rain halt their antics, so they embraced the muddy patches and rolled every square inch of their doggo bodies in the mud. They encouraged the sweet foster puppy we were dog-sitting to do the same, and she was easily influenced. Seeing the white vinyl of our house covered in red clay-like mud from the pups hopping up to peer into the windows was a little stressful, as was the sight of our mudroom living up to its name.

Saturday came with some sunshine, which was great for all of the yard work we had planned. We got up early and felt the pinch of a new lawnmower on our bank account, which is still recovering from us becoming homeowners. Tense, yet anxious to be productive, we returned home, where our teamwork quickly fell to the wayside.

I am a planner by nature. I think of things in steps with small boxes to check along the way. Benny is a big picture viewer. He sees the desired result and reverse engineers his way through things.

We get home, and while I planned our course of action, Benny plowed ahead to trying to get our concrete patio spic and span. At first, I resisted his method before somewhat resentfully caving and trying to help him. He became slightly obsessive over getting mud off the patio, while all I could think about was how more rain was in the forecast, and how the mudroom was where we were supposed to start, according to my plan.

We reached a whopping fifteen minutes before I lost my patience and temper and we split directions in tasking. The silly part is that we were both so stuck in trying to reach our goal, which was to improve our home, that logic totally fled our thought processes.

You see, first, “Success is a process.” We were so engrossed in the outcome that we did not think that perhaps addressing the muddy patches in the lawn was the first step to solving the muddy patio. We can’t prevent rain, which creates mud. We could sow some grass into the barren patches to reduce mud though, ultimately eliminating the bulk of our frustration with the patio and mudroom. We failed to trust or appreciate the process.

Second, “Success is…a quality of mind and way of being.” We both approached this weekend with anything but successful mindsets. The leaky toilet threw a wrench (cheap pun) in our plans, and the downpour on Friday didn’t improve our mindsets. We woke up Saturday tense and cranky, and we acted according to our crappy attitudes. We totally let circumstances dictate our behavior. Success was nowhere to be seen.

Third, “Success is….an outgoing affirmation of life.” While I love to get caught up in the notion that life is comprised of all the enjoyable moments, truthfully half of life is not joy. At least not to start. I assert that a solid half of life is unpleasant, annoying, mundane, and/or painful. I believe these fractions can change based on mindset and a person’s self-grown aptitude to react and accept circumstances that are not automatically enjoyable. I think that the sooner we learn to accept and thrive in the parts of life that are not easy, pretty, clean….the sooner we will find success. Life is life—good, bad, ugly, messy, breathtaking, inspiring…all of it. We did not own the messiness of the weekend, and we didn’t stop to give it the consideration that perhaps, it was just one annoying moment in a lifetime of moments.

We left the weekend in better spirits, both acknowledging that we didn’t act in a way conducive to success as homeowners, spouses, or individuals. I don’t think it is a coincidence that this lesson came with our seven-month wedding anniversary (today).


I’m glad we’ve recognized the lesson learned from last weekend, and I hope this little musing resides with you as well. Enjoy each form through which success grows and moves you, friends.


Happy Monday!




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